Beauty for Ashes

              

   Each time I see the light of the day,   I wished I could sleep and never wake up. Every passing day isn’t a day I am always happy and proud of to see because there is no reason for my existence. I became so obsessed with my appearance to the extent that I nearly commit suicide.

    I hardly get up from my bed even though I know very well that I have things to do and of course I have plans; visiting friends, going for lessons and all that. I ignored everything because of my body which I wasn’t proud of.
  
   I know my problem and which made distant from people and even my family members. I realized my problem but I can’t face it. Yes! It became my fears and worries; I would rather hide inside and question God all day than come out to the open for people to make mockery of me.
  
    ‘’God! Why did you make me this way? Look at me; I can’t even carry myself, do things that interest me any longer. People laugh at me all day. I am tired of this situation.’’ I would always lament and complain in my lonely times.
People laugh at me each time they have the slightest opportunity to see me, within my area. My shame couldn’t allow me walk alone, I would always want my sister to walk along with me as my confidant and support.
  
   I was still a child, just 10 years old at that time, but when you see me, I look way older than those above my age. I attend school but to me it was a waste because I never listened in class, you don’t want to know                                     aboutmy performances throughout my primary and secondary school, but I managed to pass my jamb and post UTME.
  
   Okay! you want to know my problem? Yea! I was fat and smelly. I can’t even pass anyone without them changing my appearance into their discussion for that day.

   You don’t have to know how shameful that was for me. My parents tried their best to make me feel important and special and also appreciate myself but I never welcomed their love and care.

   Until one day, after my secondary school education. I challenged myself that no one will ever make mockery of me again; talk less of it getting to me. I became closer to God, he became my best buddy, I cry to him whenever the world seems so dark and far from me. And he will always console me.
  
  God started giving me visions and dreams on what I will turn my shameful life into instead of sucking over what people say and hating me. I thought through it and prayed as well about it and it became clearer to me. I embarked on a research and I stared eating healthy and of course exercising as well, over time, I became a people’s friend. You know what I mean.

  Today, I own the biggest and money making body fitness blog and fitness centre. If I wasn’t fat, I would not have realized my purpose in life, and most of all, God turned the most shameful and embarrassing thing in my life to something worth living for. 
God gave me beauty for ashes. My fatness brought me to where I am today.

   NOTE: Do not look at your imperfection as abnormality, rather grab it and make the most valuable out of it. He can turn your ashes into beauty, if you allow him. God made us differently and the way he created us he himself knows the reason. 
Remember! We are all special and unique in our different ways. You can’t expect people to love you if you don’t love yourself. Remain motivated.