12/06/2016

How to Mend a broken heart





  Being loved by someone is what we all crave for in our lives, even in our relationships with others. But there is that type of relationship where we want to be totally loved, where we want to be that special someone’s everything, we want to matter more than anything else.

   In this romantic type of relationship, all we think about is that special someone who means a lot to us, we smile at the mention of their names, it’s like our whole lives depends on them, their names sounds like a sweet melody to our ears.


  At the onset of the relationship, we usually have what we call ‘’butterflies or goose bumps’’ each time we see that special someone. We get too attached and emotional without thinking if this is the right person, if this is the person I really want to be with or am I just been carried away.

  
 It is a wonderful feeling, in fact the best feeling in the world to love someone and you are convinced within you that no matter what, no matter the condition, no matter the hotness or coldness of this relationship, that person will stay and never leaves. But often times we all had an expectation that the person we are in a relationship with is the right person and he / she is the one we are going to spend the rest of our lives with.

   
 Let me tell you a little story about myself, while growing up and discovering my abilities and potential as a girl, I started getting attentions from guys, I believed that I was beautiful and every guy of my age should be blessed to have me. I never knew what I was getting myself into. As time goes on, I concluded within me that I am old enough to have a boyfriend and I know that he is the one and the only one for me.


As days become weeks and weeks becomes months, we were still feeling the newness of the relationship, and I myself got so attached and carried away. A day came when the devil in him came out asking for something that I wasn’t ready to let off just like that. At the end of it all, we broke up and all the ‘’I love you, I miss you’’ just died right away. I taught that was the end, I had to pick myself up as a novice who was just new into the game of love. The rest was a history.


  I was not ready for relationship and all that is in it before entering into it, I didn’t not look before I leaped, I just believed it would be ‘’happily ever after’’

 Before going into a relationship, especially the opposite sex relationship, u have to make up your mind that break ups are bound to happen, know what you want and expect little, have a life of your own and don’t get too attached easily because what you want might not be what the guy wants .


Most of us has had our share of been heart broken in a relationship that we thought might last forever but just for you to wake up one day and everything you have worked for is gone , leaving you helpless but not hopeless. The question is do you have to keep crying over what doesn’t worth it or who doesn’t deserve you?  A writer once said,’’ when you cannot laugh over something, why cry over it. Honestly speaking, I have had my share of heart breaks from guys who proved to love me. But I don’t have to remain where I was when I had my first experience; I learned my lessons and picked the pieces up, because in reality, no one can do that for you except yourself. 

  The mistake a lot of us do, especially ladies is that once we are into a relationship, we tend to take it too serious and holding unto it very tight then forgetting that we are likely to lose something when it’s been held very tight. When I had my last break up with my ex-boyfriend, I taught I can’t get over him but the good news is that I did and I am still happy with my life. My life hasn’t ended; I am not a victim of suicide.


So many ladies are victims today because haven’t learnt the ingredients for mending their broken hearts but instead they keep on nursing the feelings and not only hurting themselves but making themselves feel worthless.

Here are the ingredients or tips that I have tried and told many people who have talked to me and have gone through heartbreak before.


1. PICK YOURSELF UP- when it is over, it is over, don’t let someone keep reminding you that it is over. Pick up the pieces and stand to your feet. A friend of mine once told me that she couldn’t just get over her boyfriend that all she thinks about is him, and the taught of him makes her cry. I was like see girl, this guy is somewhere enjoying himself maybe with another lady, pick up yourself and let your inner mind talk to you. And she took to my advice and today she is better off without him.


2. ENGAGE YOURSELF WITH YOUR HOBBIES- this is the best way to get over someone and mend your heart easily. Although it is not easy but what you can do more of your hobby than him been your hobby is the best .Attend seminars, read book, books that will motivate and inspire you, go for a dancing school, dinner, drive, listen to songs, but not songs that reminds you of him, visit friends, etc. visiting your friends helps a lot because once you are alone, you tend to think and cry more. Make your friends the source of your happiness. Busy yourself with things that will not make your heart stray to him.


3.TREAT YOURSELF-no one can love you more than you love yourself, be your self’s best friend, go to salon, change your look, make yourself up, change your wardrobe and eat healthy food . A lot of girls believe that once they have broken up with their boyfriend/girlfriend, they don’t have to look good anymore. That is the more reason you should look good so that even when he /she sees you, he /she will know that you are better without him/her


4. MAINTAIN YOUR PRIDE- Most of us tend to lose our pride once a relationship is over, because we believe that we weren’t good enough for them that were why they left. I said no!  Do not lose focus, believe you are the best because it’s only those who know your worth can have you, believe that you are amazing and a rare gem and every guy should be blessed to have you. Whisper those sweet words to yourself every day and you will see a new you.


5. FORGIVE HIM- There is nothing like having peace of mind when you know that you have let go of your offender. Once you keep holding unto him/her, you are not hurting him/her but yourself; you are a prisoner of your own self. Let go of him/her and move on so that you can be free and let a new person in because you can pour a fresh wine into an old wine, forgive him/her so that your heart can let a new person in.


6. MAKE GOD YOUR ALL- a life without God is like a house without roof, make God the centre of your life by letting him into your heart. Let him be the guard of your hear so that you can have total peace.

                       I hope you enjoyed reading this article.

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